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2003 (18 posts)

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Thursday, December 11, 2003


Ze goggles! Zey do nossing!

Courtney Love: Holy crap.

Courtney Hole
Monday, December 8, 2003


Yeah, I high, whoa ho I’m still alive

I’ve been way too busy and lazy to keep up with this here site. Oh, and my hard drive died, which didn’t exactly help matters.

The darkroom is taking up a lot of my time these days. Here’s one of the pictures I’m working on.

Saturday, October 25, 2003


Sad news

I was walking to school on Wednesday when Emily called to tell me that Elliott Smith had died. Stabbed himself in the heart. A psychology exam required that I put this news out of my mind for the time being, but on the way home, it dawned on me how sad I felt.

When Jaco Pastorius died, I was still playing bass and trying to copy his licks, listening to his records over and over. The nasty circumstances — drunk out of his mind, beaten to death by a bouncer — made me angry more than anything else. I was sad that Jaco wouldn’t play again or make any more records, but it wasn’t as if I had lost a friend.

I don’t claim to have known Elliott Smith, and I don’t try to imagine what went on in his head. But he revealed through his music a soul so tender that it was prone to injury and pain. He plumbed depths of the spirit that most of us would rather not explore. He faced and documented the darkest moments of life for the rest of us. By fighting the demons and emerging victorious, he became something of a hero. It’s painful to see him lose the last fight.

If you’ve never heard the man, take a listen to the song on the right.

A quote from Elliott turned up in an old article I read, and I’m going to have to pin it up by my desk:

I don’t really think of time off as writing blocks. I think that’s a Western notion of demonizing inactivity. When your imagination decides it needs to take a nap, then maybe that’s what it needs to do.

Thursday, October 9, 2003

Earth needs editors

Look away

California news is just too ugly to face, so let’s turn our attention to Newport News, Virginia, where there might be a job opening for a proofreader.


Read the full story.

Thursday, October 2, 2003


Election madness, Part 3

My God, have you looked at this thing? It’s a formidable talent pool we have vying for the governorship.

From the “statements not checked for accuracy” department

Badi Badiozamani boldly states, “I will rescind Governor’s harmful policies such as the 300% car tax, streamline taxes…” (his italics). It’s about time someone stood up to that tax! I owe nearly $60,000 on my Honda this year!

Lucky for him, there’s no writing test

Vik S. Bajwa’s statement tugs at the heartstrings in a way that transcends all boundaries and grammar rules.

Since the days of the Gold Rush of mid 1880’s, its diversity of over 2 centuries, where over 148 different languages, being spoken every day, we have but one thing in common — Dream and Success.

*sniff*…I’m going to get a tissue now. You keep reading.

Finally! A voice for California’s boys

Warren Farrell, author and sensitive man, has a website that looks like something Nickelodeon rejected, but that’s beside the point. The point, according to Farrell, is that you should stop picking on boys and buy his books. Oh, and his research on “why men now earn less money than women for the same work,” included in his book Why Men Are the Way They Are, will help him solve California’s budget crisis. He plans “more male teachers; boy-friendly schools; a men’s birth control pill; communication skills…” I’m just glad that men will finally have a say in government.

Lonely hearts, we didn’t forget you

Beat these credentials, Arnold:

As Chairman of American Singles, the world’s largest non-profit singles organization, I am the only person who sponsors parties and events for singles worldwide on six continents.

That’s Rich Gosse talking. He’ll tell you that “single adults are the Rodney Dangerfields of our society. They ‘don’t get no respect.’” Rich is going to change all that: “I am the first candidate in California history to campaign on a Fairness for Singles Platform.” (Have you gotten the idea that italics are popular in these candidate statements?)

I’m all for Fairness for Singles. Stick it to the Man! And his wife!

“My family never moved. Am I elected yet?”

“I am a Native Californian.” — John “Jack” Mortenson, contractor

“Born and raised in the best State in the union…” — Ed Beyer, businessman

“I am a second generation California businessman.” — John W. Beard, second generation California businessman

“I am a third generation Californian.” — Mike P. McCarthy, used car dealer

“I am a 3rd generation Californian.” — Dorene Musilli, business owner

I say this to you natives who can’t shut up about it: Lah dee freaking dah. Good for you. Would you all like medals, or would you prefer a holiday?

The crueler part of me says, you don’t have to tell me you’re a native. I saw the bumper sticker on your shopping cart.

Tuesday, September 30, 2003


Election madness, Part 2

Where did the time go? Here we are,less than a week away from California’s Historic Recall Election, and Arnold is doing better than I feared. I’m sickened by the thought of this terrifying humanoid running our state. Hasn’t California suffered enough?

So while it’s still just a big joke, here’s my final Schwarzy video. All apologies to Fatboy Slim.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003


Election madness, Part 1

There’s so much stupid crap surfacing in this whole recall business, it’s hard to know where to begin making fun of it. I think I’ll start with Trek Thunder Kelly, independent candidate for California governor. His candidate statement, contained in the election booklet mailed to all lucky voters, begins like this:

Dear Voters, Please vote for me, thus breaking the Seventh Seal and incurring Armageddon. I will legalize drugs, gambling, and prostitution…

… and it’s just a big run-on sentence after that. Some others that I couldn’t read more than a few words of include B.E. Smith’s statement, “I spent two years in federal prison,” and Diane Beall Templin’s, which opens with,

May the Lord give you the wisdom of Solomon as you vote. I pray that the Wonderful Counselor, the Mighty God will guide me in all decisions [blah blah blah]…

Stay tuned for more candidate statements in the next few weeks.

For now, I’ve got a new video. I like to think of it as doing my little part for Arnold’s campaign.

There’s also a polished version of my first Arnold effort from Aug. 29. Now 20% scarier!

Saturday, September 13, 2003


More Funston fotos

Hang gliders in digital. These guys are crazy.

hang glider 1 hang glider 2
Friday, September 12, 2003


More TLR pics

Finally, I’m taking enough pictures again that I’ll be able to do a whole new gallery page. In the meantime, here are a couple shot at San Francisco’s Fort Funston on Ilford HP5.

Funston wing 1 Funston wing 2

And one of the dramatically lit cat, also on HP5.

Monday, September 1, 2003

Neither here nor there

Back to school

I’ve got my outfit all picked out for the first day. Mervyn’s can kiss my suave, double-breasted ass.

hey baby
Friday, August 29, 2003


California: If you say it enough, it starts to sound funny.

Recall voters, consider: Can you put up with three years of this? (1 MB QuickTime movie)

Thursday, August 28, 2003

Earth needs editors

When Computers Abbreviate, Part II

my Calphalon arse

I’m pretty sure she was going for arsenal

Tuesday, August 26, 2003

Earth needs editors

When Computers Abbreviate

girl drowns in poo
Sunday, August 17, 2003


People say, “Oh my God this really works!”

I am positively speechless when it comes to the Flat-D.

Saturday, August 16, 2003


Only in [Your Town Here].

Man arrested on warrant while sunbathing in the nude
SANTA CRUZ — A local man was arrested on an outstanding warrant Sunday while sunbathing nude at It’s Beach.
Kurtis Dapont, 45, a homeless man, was arrested and released Sunday after someone told police they saw him lying naked on It’s Beach near the Santa Cruz lighthouse. There is no law against being naked in public in Santa Cruz.
…Dapont’s arrest this weekend was one of three cases of public nudity in Santa Cruz County. Two other men were taken to the county’s mental health clinic after they were found naked. One was found standing on Highway 9, screaming about aliens.
…The Sentinel incorrectly reported the nudity incidents on Page A3 Tuesday. Contrary to reports, Dapont was not playing a ukulele or acting in a disturbing fashion.
Copyright Santa Cruz Sentinel. All rights reserved.


See? Lemons!

2 lemons

We’ve got a lemon tree in the back yard, and it used to be pretty nasty. When we first moved in, the tree was full of bugs, and some of the leaves and fruit were covered in black fungal crud. Every couple days, a skinless lemon — otherwise perfectly intact — would land on the deck like some kind of warning from the mob.

After a little pruning, the tree is now thriving and producing plenty of juicy lemons. It also yields the occasional freak, in which not all sections could agree on where the skin should go. I wanted to try out some close-ups on my new (but very used) Mamiya TLR, so I decided to give the current freak lemon crop a moment in the spotlight.

1 lemon

ITEM: Mike Gordon is a musical genius. He’s giving away a song on the web from his upcoming album, and now so am I. Check it out at right.

Sunday, July 13, 2003

Earth needs editors

Yahoo!: When you gots to have the news

yahoo duh
Wednesday, July 9, 2003


Sacramento is a scary place sometimes

CO2 warning sign